Where do you think you're going?

My disdain for U.S. Scare stems from years of what I perceive as cruel and unusual punishment, but what is probably just a combination of my bad luck and their terrible customer service.  My most cherished incident with them was when I was denied a refund at the boarding gate counter at LaGuardia Airport. Their reason? Well apparently it was because I "Never checked in" for a flight they had canceled just as everyone was about to board..  Now just to be clear, I wasn't at the check-in gate, I wasn't at the Brandenburg Gate, and I certainly wasn't standing on the Golden Gate Bridge - I was at the BOARDING GATE.

For those who don't know about boarding gates, a demographic which only seems to include this particular airline, AviationDictionary.com defines a boarding gate as "the door through which passengers leave the terminal building to get on to an aircraft".  And if memory serves me right, one can only reach the boarding gate after passing through security. Now, I've heard a rumor, this can only be done after being issued a boarding pass, which, again, my memory has possibly failed me on this one, is done after a person has checked in at the check-in counter?  I may need to look into this, or possibly, hire a fact-checker.
All of this was explained to the more than overly friendly* staff behind the (and I hate to keep harping on this one point) BOARDING GATE counter, but I was told if I had a problem with their decision NOT to refund my ticket, I could take it up with their complaints department (which I can only assume is located somewhere in the depths of HELL).

Hmmmm, which leaves the mystery of how I managed to make it through the TSA Security Checkpoint. Even if I was a modern day D.B. Cooper, I don't think my luggage walked up to the counter, bought a roundtrip ticket, checked itself in and then made it's way to the plane on it's lonesome. But that's just me. Also, what is this ridiculous piece of paper in my hand? Oh yes, a boarding pass, but obviously that's just circumstantial evidence to you people.(Incidently, AviationDictionary.com lists a boarding pass as "a temporary pass, issued at the check-in desk, which allows the holder to board the aircraft")

After several calls and emails to the airline, I was unsuccessful in not only getting a refund, but also getting a simple response. Oh well, it was probably my fault anyway, I should have just checked in.

*there should be a sarcastic font type